It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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