She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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