Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
dude. I can hear the air.
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