break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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