Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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