I hate your face
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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