the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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