hell yes lets make some ravioli
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
