Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
