Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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