stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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