T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
