I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
"it" just moved
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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