i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
