A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize