That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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