Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
