do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
