Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
