Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
