Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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