Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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