i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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