I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize