Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I have already put on my inside pants.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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