Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
