It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
