with your own penis?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
