the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
