his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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