Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize