I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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