i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
home. puking in laundry basket.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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