Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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