yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
