i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize