I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
