i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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