it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
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I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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