I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
