Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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