Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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