i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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