I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
