Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
