I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
