Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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