john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
