He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
