google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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