i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
