Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
