During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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