I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
