Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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