how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
