I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why are your pants in the freezer?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize