In the future we'll all be gay
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
